If you have been rejected numerous times like me in the course of my kind of short life, you’d feel like an indelible shadow envelops you by now. It’s a mocking shadow in the guise of an invisible friend, whispering twisted little bits and making you more and more buried in the quagmire that is self-pity. I call it the inner critic.
Yes . . . everyone has an inner critic unless you’re very egotistical and full of sh*t, reckless and unable to feel like a human being. It’s that conscience-type maudlin voice inside your head that feeds your self-doubt and makes you more depressed, telling you that you’re not good enough or you’re not worthy to be loved.
In order to complete get away from the manacles of my inner critic, I am surrounding myself with things I love and stay away from things that may remind me of why I was in the funk anyway. When someone or something slaps your cheek with negativity, slap it back with positivity and stick your tongue out for good measure.
Humor is another key ingredient. I soak myself with badly written jokes that makes me laugh because of its corniness. [Sometimes, the corny ones are the funniest.] I also find a reason to smile even once a or twice a day. It may be hard to find those reasons when you’ve been surrounded by shadows for a long time, but looking through pictures and reliving events that made you happy brings it back.
Come up with powerful affirmations that you have to repeat over and over again inside your head. I do mine the moment I wake up in the morning. I tell myself that:
I will be happy today.
I am a good person.
I am worthy of good things.
I am worthy of love.
Apart from affirmations, have a makeover – if needed. A new look can usher in new and refreshing possibilities. It may not be too drastic like having something surgical done. A new haircut or a new shade of lipstick may suffice. When you feel good and look good, it attracts good karma. Team it up with a smile and whoa! That’s a powerful combination. I do all of these. It helps totally uplift myself.
When having troubled thoughts, nip it in the bud. Do something that will divert your attention from going back to the old habit of listening to your inner critic. Have an outlet. Be crafty or put up a blog. This is the reason why I write. I put all my thoughts into writing to unload.
One more thing. Never . . . EVER surround yourself with negative people. They literally suck the life out of you. I’ve been a victim of knowing some pretty destructive pessimists [more than I am] and they feed more fuel to the pyre. Sometimes, I even feel like I’m carrying their negativity for them, which is so BAD. However, when a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, be the ray of light and turn his or her negativity into an opportunity by sharing some good advice that truly works for the best.
And then, when you’ve finally look in the mirror and like what you see, then you have successfully regained your self-confidence. That’s the time when you’ve finally put a sturdy gag over your inner critic. It might heave its ugly head from time to time, but you already know how to handle it.