I remember having a passing conversation with a friend a couple of months ago. It was one of those silly conversations that can sometimes be reflected on and realize some lesson from it.
Anyway, we were talking about attending weddings and similar occasions because of a very trivial and quite pathetic reason – we want to eat a piece or two of wedding cake. We even went on ahead to plan on ordering a similar cake just for us to consume.
I know . . . I know . . . sweets again! But c’mon. Let’s face it. Celebratory cakes are somewhat better than ordinary, store-bought cakes because meticulous planning is given to it – choosing the motif, trimmings, type of cake, texture, et cetera.
SEGUE: I just don’t like the fondant icing type. Lord knows whose hands have molded those satiny coatings. Culinary Arts was one of my majors back in college, so I know what I’m talking about. Speaking of icing, I like the butter cream or mouse type of icing with all the sugary fix I’ve been sobbingly staying away from since my health scare almost two years ago.
Going back . . .
There we were, talking about the main reasons why we accept invitations to celebrations wherein there’s a high possibility of having a big ass cake with all those flowery designs and stuff, enough to give me a sugar-high for at least a week when I began to think . . .
“When did having cakes and pastries become a sole reason for me to accept invitations instead of spending time with the people who will attend it?”
I admit. It’s a cold way of seeing things now that I stepped back a little to mentally reenact that conversations I had months ago. It’s a little off-putting that I care more about the dessert table rather than interacting or socializing with people, like it brings me more pleasure to devour my share of the icing-smothered confection than exchanging pleasantries with someone I haven’t seen in decades.
It was a sobering thought and made me ask myself: Did I just passed a stage when I don’t care about socializing anymore? Did I enter a phase when all occasions seem tedious and can be summarily pass off as mundane activities? When did I start feeling that way? When have I become anti-social?
Of course, let’s not forget that I was a quiet teen back then. You know, the usual MO – barely talks, keeps to myself most of the time and abhor going to functions where I have to pretend to like everyone when I don’t. It’s like going back to how I used to be and I don’t think I can be like that anyone.
Experiencing the limelight for years ruined me for it, I guess. But the changes in my working/professional habits has surely made me revert back to that quiet side of me. My alpha tendencies has been domesticated and I don’t feel at peace with it. Planning weekend activities with family or friends isn’t working as well.
I need a reason to accept invites for celebrations other than eating pastries to really enjoy socializing once again. I’m looking for something more . . . something that will drive the evil inner critic back to its manacled prison cell in my subconscious.