In Pursuit Of . . .

There have been plenty of reasons and excuses that hinder the human heart to finally achieve some semblance of happiness.

Guilty as charged, I’ve been one of those whose pursuit of happiness took more than a decade to come into fruition. For different reasons that are both logical and sometimes plain idiotic, I have been plagued by my passion to do what I want, creating less than pleasant dreams and making me wake up both defeated and sullen. Because I always find myself in that infernal intersection, trying to weigh the never-ending pros and cons, practicality always win — hands down — paving the way towards a less fulfilling endeavor, leaving me to question myself WHY.

Regrets are a poor bedfellow to a craving heart.

Being with friends who likes to psycho-analyze me A LOT, and had no qualms in pointing out how I’ve been wasting my talents away, I have achieved clarity upon careful reflection.

If you love something so much, you’ll make time for it.

This truth had never rang truer than before once I’ve said the magic word — YES — and finally find myself tagging along the road that I should have been navigating a long time ago. It sucks that all of these should have been happening for more than a decade and not just now. The lost time and the vigor of pursuing something that sang in my blood since I was a kid kept me thinking late at night, staring at my barren ceiling and contemplating the reasons that held me back.

It saddens me though that it had to take some heavy berating from those who feel I am under-utilizing my skills and talents, and an almost venomous tongue to make me move. I know and I admit that I am prone to procrastinate. My over-analyzing self had hindered more than me not pursuing what I love best. It stopped me from dreaming.

18Yes. I know that dreams are for children and fools who doesn’t have anything important to do in their lives. But, dreams can also create the drive to pursue something that will make life complete. Once achieved, it’s like winning the lottery and solving a Rubik’s cube all rolled into one.  With enough willpower and resources, dreams can really come true. I’ve personally witnessed people who did climb that mountain and sits on top drinking champagne and making merry that they are on top of the world.

However, like with everything else in life, there are limitations as to how far dreaming should get.

Dreams shouldn’t become a reason to harm yourself or other other people.

Dreams shouldn’t be an excuse to abandon responsibilities.

Dreams shouldn’t be used to hurt.

Creating balance between dream and reality is an awfully hard thing to accomplish. I know. I’ve been struggling with it for so long, making up excuses to abandon one comes out naturally to me now. I guess it all boils down on what you already hold in your hands and the priorities in your life you have to take.

Now that times are changing for me and I can actually smell the roses now, I am promising myself to get my act together, start living the life I think I meant to have and enjoy every moment of what remaining decades I have in this lifetimes.


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