It’s the end of my birth month and it was like a music Roller Coaster ride for me, composing a list that includes new, old and not so old tracks that I had on repeat for the whole month of June.
I felt like the universe itself had dictated what I listened to this month. I don’t know how that happened, but whenever the climate changes or with every drop of rain that fell down from the sky, I see signs around me that would generate a song in my head and would then reverberate through my consciousness, pushing me to listen to find that particular song in my extensive mp3 music collection.
Watching 34 TV shows at the same time is enough proof that I am one. I always tell those who tease me or shake their annoying heads at me that I watch too much TV during my free time (making my social life close to nonexistent) that it’s better to get hooked with TV shows/series that I can learn something from rather than get hooked on gossiping or narcotics. That’s my defense. But the real reason I do so is because I’m lazy.
I’m lazy to primp in front of the mirror before going out of my cocoon because I don’t want to get criticized by viper-tongued bullies who think they’re the fashion police or something.
I’m lazy to go out and socialize with other people who had nothing better to talk about than the latest on-dit on their favorite local Pinoy Teleserye or variety show.
I’m lazy to don my social mask and pretend that I like talking to people who can’t get my drift or have a different wavelength.
I’m lazy to entertain people with my ever-present wit and sometimes smart-ass comments because that’s what they expect me to do — all the time!
The signs of time is always at work and human nature prevails 99% of the time. How so?
You see, I’ve always been fascinated with history and how people perceive beauty in all its different forms. As an artist, it’s what I do and where I draw inspiration from sometimes.
Truth: As the world progresses, so as people’s perception on what is acceptable and not.
This thinking led me to believe that what people perceive as special a hundred years ago is not so this time.
Why am I rambling about this?
It’s because of the silly childhood pictures I stumbled upon yesterday while cleaning my storage area. I didn’t mean to look at them and reminisce the awkward stages of my life. But, apparently, the universe and its powers are at work once again and the whole bunch just dropped on the floor. Faded pictures scattered around me, making me cringe as my ultra-selective-bionic eyes zeroed in on an image of me wearing a hideous shirt and shorts ensemble partnered with my accidental semi-afro hair and dark framed glasses. I remember thinking that I was cute wearing that outfit all those years ago. Looking at it now, I want to murder whoever designed those clothes.
I believe that everything in this world has vitality . . . a certain vibration that makes the world come alive. I bask in it. I relish it. I want to explore it. I want to be a part of it.
After losing someone really important to me a couple of months ago, I took time to really reflect upon what I am, what I’ve been through and what I want to look forward to. As if nothing in this world makes sense, the words of my father when I was starting to learn how to play the guitar reverberated through my head.
“That’s good. Just practice and practice and soon, you can make your guitar sing.”
Remembering those words, I can feel that my dad wasn’t just talking about me playing the guitar. He was imparting a Confucius-type of lesson to me (he did that a lot when I was a kid, not really knowing the deeper meaning behind his words. It’s just now that I have mature (a bit) that I get to really see the depth of each subtle lesson given to me a long time ago.
One of the things I’ve observed from being an educator and trainer for more than a decade is the amount of negativity that goes around people almost all the time. People tend to hate themselves for things that they are not and lacks awareness of those things they already have but is unable to fully utilize. That where people like me try to bring out the best in people for productivity’s sake and for better working dynamics.
The harshest critic one can ever have is one’s self.
I encounter plenty of individuals so caught up with the bad that they forgot there are wonderful things they can love about themselves. These negativity includes self-doubt, thinking they’re not good enough, looking at the world like a cage of sorts, always thinking that something bad will happen . . . yada . . . yada. These things, in turn, make a muck out of a lot of things in their lives – both professional and personal.