Your Own BFF

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Image courtesy of

What does it mean to be your own BFF?

One of the things I’ve observed from being an educator and trainer for more than a decade is the amount of negativity that goes around people almost all the time. People tend to hate themselves for things that they are not and lacks awareness of those things they already have but is unable to fully utilize. That where people like me try to bring out the best in people for productivity’s sake and for better working dynamics.  

The harshest critic one can ever have is one’s self.

I encounter plenty of individuals so caught up with the bad that they forgot there are wonderful things they can love about themselves. These negativity includes self-doubt, thinking they’re not good enough, looking at the world like a cage of sorts, always thinking that something bad will happen . . . yada . . . yada. These things, in turn, make a muck out of a lot of things in their lives – both professional and personal.

Ever wonder why the number of people going to gym or attending Zumba sessions (I love Zumba!) are rising nowadays? It’s because as years pass by, life becomes more stressful. Technology may ease daily living, but it comes with the price. The relentless pursuit to get into the highest levels of the societal ladder creates a competition amongst individuals that are both good and bad. It’s human nature to want more and with it comes more worries and struggles because everyone wants it, therefore, creating adversity and later on negativity – especially when you can’t get what you want. It breeds self-doubt and that’s when we focus on the negatives.

 Then, I take a deep breath and try to put everything in perspective so not only could I impart some much needed advice to others, but also live by my own preaching. So, I added another mantra to my growing list. It goes like . . .

The only way to live a stress-free and luminescent life is to begin loving yourself so you can begin loving those around you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself. The saying: To know love is to experience it never rang truer than in this scenario. And what’s the best way to experience it than starting with yourself. But, just like anything in this universe, we need to have limits. Too much love can lead to obsession and can be destructive. Too much love for oneself is considered vain, narcissistic and conceited – all, by the way, are negative traits. The right amount of self love can go a long way. It will create confidence, boost self-esteem and open doors to allow love from others into your life.

Such a simple concept, and yet it took me more than a decade to realize that.

Of course, I am not saying that I’m the epitome of self-confidence. I have issues, too, just like any normal life form does. I’ve been prone to being that 50% of my waking breath almost every day. The battle in controlling the pessimism from going out of hand continues to this day and I am relieved that I found ways on how to do it successfully. As I’ve experienced, being too focused on the negative side of things can be detrimental to my health. It plays havoc with my blood pressure, destabilizes my blood sugar, makes me binge eat (I am an emotional eater. There. I admit it.) and so on and so forth.

Be kind to yourself. Be your own friend. 

You don’t need to browbeat yourself when you’re already down. Cheer yourself up. This may sound a like bit psychotic, but it works. By searching for diversion and keeping yourself busy doing something you like, you are creating your own therapy. You can lose yourself – along with all the negativity – when you keep yourself busy.

Channeling energy into different endeavors other than all the negative stuff life hurls at me has been my lifelong personal pursuit in becoming a better person. Meditations and asking for divine help worked in a way. But acquiring a hobby and pouring all of energy into a project that will yield a physical result is better. Maybe that is the reason why I can do a lot of things but never a master of even one of those.

I like exploring different areas of interest that I can work with – art and music coming up at the top of my list. I don’t think that they can classify a hobby. They’re more like interests and I am lucky to be exposed to both at such an early age that it comes naturally to me to appreciate the gentler facets of humanity. 

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