In recent years, I have lived by this code:
Quand on veut, on peut. (What one wants, one can.)
However forward and sometimes misunderstood as a ruthless code to form your life around, when combined with my other principle of never doing anything that will have harm and leave a negative effect on me, others and nature is a truly powerful code to live by.
I’ve been known in different circles as a cross between an idealist and realist — two halves of a coin — polar opposites and anything that brings about complexities. Hey, I’ve been blogging in a site that I titled good/bad. My blog title itself is pretty much indicative of my struggle between two opposing ideas. I am and forever will be caught in between, but still makes some great sense from time to time — enough to write something about it, right?
Anyway, like what I mentioned, living by this code has helped me bring focus to what I needed to be in this lifetime. Being in between a realist and an idealist surely has its drawbacks in going forth with this code in mind. How?
When I younger and I wanted to pursue something, I find myself over-analyzing and worrying my silly head over it, enough to give me a brain aneurysm. Then, before I knew it, I would end up quitting before I actually began doing it.
I’m a coward. I lack conviction.
My self-preservation tendencies would assert its not so beauteous head whenever I’m in this kind of situation and all I ever get out of the whole experience was regret. Looking back, I never thought that my past actions would actually have a huge impact on my future — a future that I’m currently in right now.
Regrets are bitter bedfellows.
With tremendous amount of regret, my whole world view was affected as well. I learned to keep secrets, even resorting to lying when someone (usually a family member or a relative — don’t you just hate relatives when they become too inquisitive and try to meddle in your affairs?) would ask me what my plans were or what was I working on. I don’t want to let others know in fear that they’ll ridicule me, scoff off my ideas as something unrealistic and whimsical, and just generally give me another reason not to pursue what I want.
Now, I still let out white lies here and there but for reasons that are different: I don’t want them to jinx my project. That’s what.
Lying became easy; it became a form of defense mechanism. A not so pleasant way to go about it, I know, but it works for me — at least.
Because of my introvert tendencies, I find myself quitting in the middle of an ambitious project because of the different fears that somehow cripples me emotionally and psychologically. Even if a huge amount of time and effort has been poured into a project, if I felt the sudden pangs of laziness or doubt, I will halt it and never bother continuing it — ever. It’s a sickness that I’ve been curing myself for the better half of my life.
I also learned to be self-reliant. With the aid of this code, I began to truly be more an extrovert. When I tell people I am not this outrageous when I was younger, they don’t believe me, ruling it out as a joke. You see, I often get the “Best in Good Morals and Right Conduct“, “Most Behaved” and “Most Silent” awards back in school. I am not certain if I need to be flattered by these awards or be offended. So, I set them straight, telling them that I may joke about a lot of things, but not me being an introvert when I was younger.
I guess I still am sometimes when I don’t feel like socializing or being surrounded by people.
What One Wants, One Can
It was during my first year in college when I decided to reinvent myself, to go out of my shell and live by the code: Carpe Diem (Seize the day). I didn’t know about Quant on veut, on peut, yet — which will later on change a lot of aspects in my life.
Seizing the day worked — in a sense. I went out of my way to make new friends in college where no one in my HS batch entered the same school I did. I was relived because there was no one who can deter my goal in becoming an all-smiling, friendly, approachable life-of-the-party individual. No pretenses. Just a better, smiling version of me.
I succeeded because I wanted it so much. Now, it often bewilders me on how far I went from a timid girl to a vivacious one who’s co-hosting a Sunday morning radio show in the local radio station (something I never aspired of doing back in high school).
I had several makeovers throughout the years. I’ve changed my hair color as often as Madonna herself. I’ve been different kinds of brunette, ink-black goth hair, I’ve been a redhead and a blonde. I went from super long hair, to barely there mohawk. I’ve studied and almost perfected the art of conversation and I’ve taken great pains in improving my English communication skills — enough to make people wonder if I lived and/or grew up in an English-speaking country. Not.
Then, I stumbled upon the French saying, Quant on veut, on peut. It solidified my drive to be better and go the extra mile.
That’s why I always tell my students and trainees that if they really want to improve themselves, there’s always a way and it always starts within themselves — the drive to make a difference.
Losers wait to be motivated — winners don’t.
I am the living embodiment of those words. If you want to realize your goals or dreams, you don’t have to wait for external motivation. I tell this to those who’d listen because I believe that before you preach something, make sure that you did it and lived it yourself. It also helped that by stumbling upon this French saying (Quand on veut, on peut), I have produced a better Rose Min and will continue to do so unless I get struck by lightning where I stood and turn to toast beyond recognition.