if you believe enough

Breathing Space

For more than two months, I’ve been hunting for another place to move to since the previous one was not as desirable as when I started living in it almost nine years ago.

WTF! Nine years! Ah-huh. I know what people say. I could have bought myself a nice, little bungalow if I invested the rental money in real estate instead. But, there are complications with equity payments, in-house financing and all that sh*t that stayed my hand (and my meager bank savings).

if you believe enough

Talking about loyalty and sticking for something comfortable. I can be a poster child for it. I don’t know if it’s good or bad or just complete stupidity, but long story short, I had enough of the midnight awakenings, sleep deprivation, ugly shouting voices, fugly neighbors and all their sh*t. 

For the past year or so, my used-to-be comfy crib has turned into a freakin’ horror house. Oh, I like horror and anything bloody and gory. Only I limit it to viewing pleasures, not in living spaces. Anyway, I stayed for as long as I can because in the back of my foolish mind, I thought things will get better and revert to the way it was.

Boy, was I wrong!

So, I initially decided to move last April to a place I thought was nice and peaceful. Then, my hopes went coursing down the wrong rabbit hole (with metaphorical bumps and scrapes along the way).

A little (concerned) birdy whispered in my ear that my targeted neighborhood has been burglarized a lot for the past two or three years. I got scared, of course. Beneath all this Kevlar-ish demeanor lies a fragile (ahem) girl with a serious backache.

The way I saw it, if I went through the move, I wouldn’t be able to have the needed peace and quiet I crave. My paranoia will trigger my already hyperactive insomnia, reducing me to become a frickin’ walking dead. Not a pretty sight. I might die of  a heart attack when I see my zombie-like appearance on the mirror first thing in the morning.

So, with my dwindling patience and health (I need to sleep sometime) I canceled the contract and went on finding another one. It was tough! Especially when I’m running out of time. I have to move out before classes start and I’d have to wrestle with kids half my age for a living space.

There Is a God … Really!

I did the whole kneeling down thing while praying, which was so uncharacteristic for someone like me. I’ve got an intimate relationship with God, but I’ve never begged the Almighty for something. This was a first.

Several days later — together with my sister — we found one.

It’s the most convenient place I’ve ever spotted in my whole rental life.

The place is within close proximity to the essentials — groceries, mall and coffee shops — but not too urban that I’ll wake up in the middle of the night from a roaring, shrill sound of an ambulance. I finally found a space where I won’t have to put on my scary mask before complaining to the landlord that my neighbors are at it again. 

Lesson learned: If you believe enough on what you want, it will happen. It may take a bit of time, but it will come. 

I’ve been living in my new place for a month now, and apart from the recent typhoon that left a mess, I’m content with my decision. I don’t have to tolerate irritating neighbors; I have a bigger space to call home.

I have my much needed breathing space.



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