Photo credit: Gaelle Marcel

Heart Beats

I’d like to share a poem I wrote when I was in my early twenties. It was during a time when I was lost, confused and angry at life… at everything. A time I swore I wouldn’t want to experience again for as long as I live.

I barely recognized myself during those times. I was hurt and lonely. Nevertheless, I took a creative turn for it and just poured everything out on paper. This is one of the results of those angry, bitter, sleepless nights. 


Du-dum… Du-dum… Du-dum
Can you hear it?
Can you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear your heart beating?

The constant rhythm overcomes me
As I thought of what I might be
Should I be like this?
Should I be like that?
Should I be many things I know I wouldn’t be one?
Should I be someone totally different…
an antithesis of my very own self…
the opposite of what I am for so many years
marked through with every beat of my heart?

Du-dum… Du-dum… Du-dum…
That’s the sound of my heart speaking
It pleads for someone listening
the beat that makes a sinking
feeling… drilling
a hole in my thinking

I delivered a hero’s words
I gave a hero’s promise
but words are hallowed
haunted by the heart
that doesn’t beat steady and true

The beating persists
The beating is all that I hear
it deafens me
it frightens me
when it stops, will I still be me?

Du-dum… Du-dum… Du-dum…
My heart kept beating
skipping… missing
A sickness that formed
in the center of my soul
A sickness that consumes
a heart that has a hole.

Hollowed and untrue
It screams of my driving and senseless clues
broken and bitter, the beating falters
with the trembling voice of the emotions
that cripples and even maim a discordant
hammering beating of a empty heart.

Du-dum… Du-dum… Du-dum…
Keep the beating still
Keep the emotions real
I’m done… I’m still breathing
To keep this heart steadily beating.

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