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Mindless and Sleepless

I am an insomniac.

I’ve always been plagued with sleeplessness ever since I was young.  There might be hundreds or even thousands of articles published by proper experts in the medical field that can explain the reasons behind sleeplessness ranging from the physical to the mental, but none of the remedies, therapy, and what-not had even helped my case.

I tried them all; psychotherapy included. I’ve inhaled enough lavender to resemble a field of it. I’ve put essential oils on my temples and the soles of my feet to help me sleep. I drank enough camomile tea to sink a ship — warm milk as well. I counted enough farm animals to popular a continent. Monitored my sleeping patterns with an app to regulate my hours. Bought blackout curtains to create a dark room even in the middle of the day to resemble nighttime (especially when I worked the graveyard shift).

Sometimes, when it gets too hard to concentrate in school and eventually at work, I have to resort to sleeping aides. The latter was effective, of course, but I don’t want to get dependent on it. I almost did but my common sense kicked in and urged me to nip it in the bud considering it won’t be a great help at all if I become addicted to it.

I searched high and low to find something to help me out. But none had helped long-term. That’s when I went on some psychotherapy because what else can I lose right. I need my sleep. I desperately need it.

Talking about my troubles and past events wasn’t one of my key strengths. In fact, I detest it because I’m a firm believer of putting the past behind, keep it locked up and throw the key away. Why? Because what’s done is done; you cannot change the past. All you can do is learn from it and then move on. Think of making yourself better than when you were in the past. But I had to go retrospective with the mental therapy and it was tedious. I did it for a couple of sessions and learned some cool stuff. Eventually, I set off on my own.

Funny… when people learned that I am an insomniac, they would assume that I don’t sleep for long periods of time and that I am gaunt with panda bear eyes (no offense to panda bears; they’re utterly cute). I’m a curvy girl since birth and my insomnia is not the typical kind people think of when they hear the ailment.

Here’s what usually happens: I sleep, but before I reach REM, I wake up and cannot go back to sleep again until it’s almost time to really wake up. So, I sleep about 2-4 hours a night. If I’m lucky, I can get seven hours of intermittent sleep. That’s first two hours, then I wake up and stay awake for 2-3 hours, then go back to a short nap and then wake up again and then sleep for another hour. It’s somehow a pattern and it’s attributed to my overactive brain. It can’t shut down. It runs with a thousand and one worries and thoughts that I even dreamed about.

Therefore, I resolve myself in not going against the grain. Whenever I’m feeling another night of sleeplessness, I use the waking time to write instead. Hopefully, it will pay off since I’m releasing my debut novel this month titled Heaven Falls. It’s the first book in The Celestine Chronicles series that I started writing way back in 2006.

 

It’s been 12 years in the making, I know. But I hope the sleeplessness and the writing pay off. What good is a manuscript if it won’t get published.

The release date would be on June 4, 2018. It’s a full-length novel that will be available [first] as an ebook and if there’s positive response to it on the first month, it will be eventually released in print on major online book distributors.

Stay tuned for further announcements of its release. Thanks! x

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