There comes a time in my life when deciding something is a hard and often sweaty task, especially when these decisions need to be made in haste and would often constitute something life-altering. Whenever I’m in that crossroad, imagining making a deal with a crossroads demon, I always find myself vacillating between yes or no. Careful consideration must be taken into account, more so when it involves other people.
So the simplest way that always work is . . . whenever you are half-hearted about something or when doubts suddenly take a-hold of you, lean towards a no. Even with all the listing of pros and cons you’ve done, when your heart is not in it, it is likely the universe is telling you to back off.
I’ve been going on and on, talking about this topic with a dear friend of mine (someone I consider as my soul sister) for quite some time now and it never fails to inspire me into talking more. But enough talking. It’s time to write about it.
Just like a previous post I did here, the changes and allowances you make for yourself all leads to being marketable in the existential market called life. And believe me when I say, it’s a very chaotic market out there. To much competition. Too much politics. Not for the faint-hearted.
The usual way we go about reinventing ourselves is to change our appearance. From the cut and style of your hair, to the shade of lipstick you choose to wear, or the types of clothes you wear in whatever occasion you go to . . . everything you do to your appearance can make a big difference. But, it doesn’t stop there. You need to reinvent your character and even your outlook in life. All of these changes all boils down to attracting people and eventually good vibes or good karma.
I’ve done a lot of root cause analysis in conjunction with my profession and suffice to say, it’s about time to do the same process with why I ended up being cynical. After having a brief – and not so happy – trip down memory lane, I finally found the beginnings, if not the cause, of all my semi-pessimist outlook in life.
When I was younger, I’ve been raised to be conscientious, which eventually lead me into extremes as I grew older.
I’ve always lived by this saying . . .
Think first before you speak or do something.
It’s what the nuns, confessors and advisers drummed into my being while attending private Catholic schools during my formative years. Up until now, whenever something comes along or I’m trying to decide what to do, I never follow my gut instincts. I always deliberate and analyze things first before moving forward. That led me to become a procrastinator and inadvertently an over-analytical person.
Try as I might, I can’t shake it off. I’m having a bad case of LSS (Last Song Syndrome).
This started a few hours ago when I went through some of my records to decide which album would be my soundtrack for the day. While riffling through the stack, I unconsciously popped my copy of the The Faculty OST. It’s been a long time since I played it – I realized – when the familiar notes drifted from my player and Alice in Chain’s Layne Staley’s voice crooned . . .
We don’t need no education.
We don’t need no thought control.
Class of 99’s rendition of the Pink Floyd original brought back memories of the past and the debilitating fact that almost made me catatonic. Like everyone else in the universe, I’ve become just another brick in the wall.